


I Do Love You

by Moshi516



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15574329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moshi516/pseuds/Moshi516
Summary: And usually, it was the unintentional pain inflicted that hurt both parties the most.





	I Do Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Ryo's Friday rumours, Chinese fandom old post about how Ohkura's dad online diary wrote about how Ohkura's grandfather died of cancer, Ohkura's weak digestive systems issues 8D, Subaru revealing that Ohkura goes back to eating liquid diet in Recital 2016 DVD, puzzlement over the lack of Ohkura's food hunting location shooting since end of last year (even on Janiben's 2/8, Ohkura ate the vegetable of the udon and not the udon itself and his corner in Pekojani avoids heavy food sampling), Maru's ambiguous Jweb a day before the rumor comes up and Ohkura's Jweb entry of this week. The time line is a bit of an alternate universe with Yasu being healthy 8D/.
> 
> Oh yeah, I was not sure about where should I explain it in the fic but in this fic Ohkura was recovering from fundoplication surgery after a recurring intestinal occlusion issue. With that said I was not cursing any members of health issues though. We had enough of that already and I'm wishing the best for the health of each members. I just like bullying Ohkura in my fics. And I'm not making Ryo to be a bad guy! Just that making him a man in the moment of weakness.

“It’s delicious?”

“It is!” Smiling brightly, Ohkura slowly sipped the chicken essence porridge in front of him made by Yasu. Smiling impishly, Yasu sighed quietly in relief as he sees that compared to a few days ago after surgery, Ohkura’s face had become less pale. He is getting thinner though with him still being on liquid diet. Since it’s a two weeks duration of liquid diet, he’s probably going to get even thinner as time passed. But at the very least, Ohkura seems to be finally free of his stomach pains and it is a good enough outcome for Yasu now.  


The television is playing on low volume with the tv personality discussing about the latest entertainers gossips. A familiar name appears with his naked sleeping picture displayed on the screen. The panels were heatedly discussing about the truth about the particular person’s so called one night stand but the tv goes black as Ohkura turned the tv off with a remote.

His expression is unchanging as he focused on the porridge in front of him. Yasu stared at him quietly, trying to gauge what he is thinking. It frustrates him sometimes how Ohkura seems to be able to read every member minds but so far nobody had been able to successfully understand Ohkura’s mind yet.

“Did Ryo come recently?”

“Un he did. He came the day before yesterday.” Ohkura quietly answered, tone and intonation unchanging, as if unaffected, as if nothing is changing.

The day before yesterday. Before the rumors come out on the tabloid magazine, the timing when the members (excluding Ohkura who got hospitalized) heard about the possibility of such rumor about to break out, and Maru writing an ambiguous advice on his Jweb as an indirect effort to make Ryo think of his next step carefully, Yasu thought to himself. 

“Ohkura, you know you can talk to be about anything right?”

Looking surprised, Ohkura looked up from his soup and nodded. “Sure yeah I know. You’re my best friend, I tell you everything.”

“Not everything” Yasu emphasized as he stared into Ohkura’s honey brown eyes. A shadow passed through Ohkura’s eyes before he smiled at Yasu.

“Don’t worry Yasu. It’s just gossip. I’m okay, he’s okay. We’re okay. He’s just busy with his filming, that’s it.”

They both knew better that Ohkura said that for the sake of keeping peace. Ryo had been filming for a whole week and he had never failed to come every day before.

“I’ll be more okay once I could start eating normally and finally be rid of all the gluten free and all the food diet restrictions though! I can’t wait to be able to join food hunting location shootings again! It’s been almost a year!” Ohkura whined as he put down the spoon in the porridge bowl.

Yasu rolled his eyes as he stood up and smacked Ohkura’s shoulder lightly. 

“How about we focus on you finishing this bowl of porridge first before we proceed to the much more ambitious dreams?” 

Ohkura made a kicked puppy face and Yasu laughed. His eyes turned sad as he looked at the top of Ohkura’s black short hair as Ohkura once again resume eating. If Ohkura wants to act strong and is not ready to talk about it for now, he supposed he could respect that, no matter how unwilling he is about Ohkura keeping it all to himself.

….

He could feel someone awkwardly standing at the entrance of the door and without turning his head, he knew who it is already. Being bandmates of the same age, they knew each other like the back of their hands by now. 

The other party cleared their throat and sighing, Yasu decided to be the adult and turn his head as he greeted Ryo with a good morning. He couldn’t find the willingness in himself to smile at him though.

Awkwardly, Ryo returned his greeting before sitting down at the make up chair next to Yasu. Strange awkwardness lies between them before quietly, Ryo asked Yasu about Ohkura’s current condition. Releasing an annoyed breath, Yasu rolled his eyes and finally decide to just honestly show what he feels.

“Glad to know that you still do care about him. Why don’t you just go to see him on your own though?”

“I was busy!”

“Ryo.”

“…..”

Yasu felt himself getting even more agitated but he tried to keep his calm. He knew parts of the reason why Ohkura didn’t want to tell him how he feel is because he didn’t want Yasu to fight with Ryo. Yasu too didn’t want to put Ohkura in that position of having to deal with his best friend and lover fighting each other but Yasu is so very annoyed. Judging from Ryo’s reaction, he knew that there is a part of the rumor that was true.

“What part of the rumor was true?”

“Huh?”

“Ryo, stop dicking around. Though if you could stop doing that in the first place, you wouldn’t land in this mess. Tell me now, what part of the rumor is true?”

Ryo seemed to initially want to use his usual mechanism in the face of crisis that is to be angry and fight. But something kept him from going and he just deflated quietly as he rests his face in his palm.

“The part where I keep on seeing her is false. I don’t even know who she is.”

“So you did sleep with her? In 2016?”

“… Yeah. But not in Osaka, it happened here, in Tokyo.”

“You knew that she was married back then?”

“Of course, I don’t! Who would have thought that a married woman would be willing to go home with another guy anyway?”

“Who would have thought that you’d be sleeping with her when you are with Ohkura anyway?” Yasu shot back at Ryo. Annoyed, Ryo look away and kept his quiet.

“….Ryo. I need you to explain me this one fact or else I could no longer keep the urge from punching you, keeping peace for Ohkura’s sake might be damned if you don’t. I need to know why.”

Ruffling his hair harshly, Ryo kept quiet as he chewed the bottom of his lips. There was a long quietness until finally, quietly Ryo confessed.

“He was getting sick again in summer 2016. And he was getting a lot more tired than before too. You were there when he explained that he’d be taking a break from some part of our variety shows that requires more physical strength back then. And he talked about how he needs to go through series of medical check ups to rule out several issues regarding his health. He said too that they want to make it absolutely sure that it was not cancer.”

Yasu kept his quiet. He remembered how hard it is back then too. He remembered how Ohkura keeps on getting stomach aches at any time of the day. He was constantly getting stomach aches that he gave up on solid food and revert back to liquid food just to ease the pain. It makes him weaker and more tired at that time.

“I was scared. I remembered how his grandfather died of cancer you know? It could possibly be in his genes already. I was thinking of how it would be if I were to lose him. I comforted him and held him to sleep as he cried from the exhaustion of all the check up but deep inside I am shaking in fear. He was deeply asleep, and I couldn’t. I decided to clear my mind with some alcohol at the club and I don’t know. I probably had a little too much and the next thing I know, I woke up in a hotel, with her on the bed next to me. I didn’t ask for her name, I didn’t ask about what happened. It was quite obvious. I just paid her and went home.”

“Washed yourself and go back to him and finds out that it’s not cancer and pretend that nothing happens after that?” 

“…. Yeah.”

“You’re such a spectacular mess, do you know that?”

Yasu put his palm on the back of his neck. He feels the stress of the mess of emotions he felt is making his neck feel strained and he sighed as he massaged his neck. 

“Ryo, go to him. I had told Maru to be on standby to exchange today’s job with you. Maru is already on his way.”

“… But.”

“… I am seriously trying to hold back the urge to curse at you now, you know? Go to him, talk to him, explain it to him. He’s not exactly the most confident guy in the world and while he trusts you, he must be dying to know the truth and what you’re doing is chipping away his trust in you.”

“… He might get angry. It’s no good for him now.”

“And you think the stress, the feeling of in-adequateness, the feeling of having the most important person not being there for you in the time of need is better for him?”

“…. Alright. I understand.”

As Ryo left and Maru entered the room with Chronicle’s make up artist, Yasu wonder why is it that the more a person love another person, the deeper the hurt they inflict on the person that they supposedly treasure. And usually, it was the unintentional pain inflicted that hurt both parties the most.

….

Sitting in the taxi on the way to the hospital, Ryo opened the Jweb of his group to kill time. As he scrolled through his lover’s post, a lump form on his throat when the only thing Ohkura said was, “I love you”. It was a picture of rice but he thinks, Ohkura is saying more than what he could say on that Jweb.

‘I love you too,’ he thinks to himself. ‘I really do. It’s just that I’m a man full of foolish weakness who tends to make the worst decision in moment of crisis. I tried to be better within this two years, but I was expecting that mistake to just go away. I probably should have told you the truth and not let you hurt like this but… I hope you still know that I do love you. ‘

End

**Author's Note:**

> I leave it an open ending. I leave it to your imagination on what's going to happen next when Ryo met Ohkura 8D


End file.
